The Journey of Healing from Complex Trauma (C-PTSD)

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Understanding Complex Trauma and Recovery

Written By: Antonio Siracusa

Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) is often spoken of in fragments and can often be misunderstood. PTSD is usually connected to a single event—a moment of violence, disaster, or loss that tears through the normal and the ordinary. But Complex PTSD is born out of something different: pain that lingers, pain that repeats, pain that weaves itself into the fabric of life, perhaps through years of neglect, abuse, betrayal, or fear. It is not just an echo of the past—it is a shadow that tries to re-shape the way a person sees themselves, their relationships, and even the world around them.

What makes Complex PTSD so heavy is not only the memory of what happened, but the way it curls into the everyday, slipping quietly into moments that seem ordinary. It is almost like a tentacled beast, invisible to everyone but the survivor, slithering through ordinary experiences of daily life, rising when least expected. 

Survivors often find themselves pulled between longing and fear, carrying storms of emotion within, wondering if they can ever feel “like themselves” again. This sensation takes root in the body itself. The nervous system learns to stand guard—always on edge, always watching. It is the brilliance of the human body and mind, doing what they could to survive in those unsafe places. But what once kept someone alive can later keep them from fully living. And so, the past that should have been left behind shows up in the present, over and over, and over again, like an old wound that will not close.

Science tells us what survivors know in their bones: trauma is not stored like other memories. It lives in the body, in sensations, impulses, and the language of the nervous system. When stress rises, reason slips away and the body’s alarm bell takes over, flooding the person with the sense that danger is near. 

“Many survivors say, “I don’t remember anything,” without realizing that they are remembering when they suddenly startle, feel afraid, tighten up, pull back, feel shame or self-hatred, or start to tremble. Because trauma is remembered emotionally and somatically more than it is remembered in a narrative form that can be expressed verbally, survivors often feel confused, overwhelmed, or crazy. Without a memory in words or pictures, they do not recognize what they are feeling as memory.” (Fisher, p.23). 

This is why treatment is more than retelling the story. It is about teaching the body how to rest, how to notice without fear, how to discover again that safety is possible, and how, slowly, to let new experiences of connection re-shape the mind and the heart.

In my own journey, I have learned that trauma does not stay locked in the past. It shows up in stories, in fears, in the ways of reaching out to others and sometimes withdrawing from them. Healing can feel out of reach, but I believe change is always possible. Recovery does not erase what happened—it teaches us how to carry it differently, in a way that makes room for trust and for life to grow again. As if our resilience is like a tree, in a moment of defiance when we can stand against the beast that coils around us and say, “Enough—we’ve had enough.”

Healing can be nurtured in the presence of another. In the gentle witness of someone who does not look away. To be seen, to be believed, to be heard with compassion— a space where dignity can be restored, and where hope can begin to rise. Every small step forward is intentional work, that aims to reclaim the life that trauma tried to steal.

For me, there is an image of healing. 

It is the moment of return to the guardian tree. There, not only are the scars etched in its bark, signs of what has been endured, but also the resilience experienced in navigating the tentacled maze of trauma. Standing in awe, remembering that what once felt broken has given rise to rebirth. The tree is our mirror—reminding us that we, too, can stand tall, deeply rooted, and ever reaching toward the freedom of the sky, and the warmth of the sun.

If you’d like to book a free consultation with Antonio please follow this link at your convenience. Healing is possible, and you deserve peace of mind. 

Author’s Note: The three paintings included in this reflection—titled The Suffering, The Battle, and The Response—were created during a therapeutic process in August 2017. Each painting depicts a stage of engagement with the image of the “tentacled beast” and the emergence of the guardian tree, a symbol of resilience and growth. Antonio is currently completing certification in Complex Trauma Training Levels I & II (CCTP/CCTP-II). 

References

Fisher, J. (2021). Transforming the living legacy of trauma: A workbook for survivors and therapists. PESI Publishing & Media.