- Glen Zheng
- Nov 14
- 3 min read
Updated: Nov 16
The Autism Double Empathy Problem
Rethinking “Social Deficits” in Autism
Written By: Glen Zheng
About the Author
Glen Zheng, Master's of Social Work (Candidate), Student Clinician
For decades, people on the Autism Spectrum (ASD) have often been portrayed as lacking empathy or social skills. However, the Double Empathy Problem offers a renewed perspective on what most in the neurodivergent community already know. Yes – autistic people are loving, kind, and deeply compassionate beings too!
What is the Double Empathy Problem?
Coined by Dr. Damian Milton in 2012, the Double Empathy Problem theory suggests that autistic and non-autistic people can experience bi-directional challenges in communication and empathy. In other words, both groups may frequently misunderstand each other because they perceive and express emotions, social cues, and intentions in fundamentally different ways.
Interestingly, the double empathy problem also showed us that just as non-autistic people communicate easily with one another, autistic people also tend to communicate smoothly with other autistic people. This highlights that the issue isn’t about a lack of empathy, but about differences in how empathy and communication are expressed and understood.
How this Shows Up in Everyday Life
A non-autistic person may view an autistic person as disinterested in a conversation if they don’t maintain eye contact. That said, an autistic person might be avoiding eye contact to feel more comfortable and focused on what’s being said.
A direct communication style from an autistic person might seem abrupt (or even rude) to a non-autistic person. However, the autistic person’s intention might be to value honesty or show respect to another person’s time.
Why This Perspective Matters
Internalized Oppression
Many autistic people have felt pressured to adapt to neurotypical ways of being. Over time, suppressing one’s authenticity to internalize neurotypical frameworks can act as a form of internalized oppression.
The Stigma of Being Othered
Many autistic people have navigated their entire lives being frequently misunderstood. This leads to stigmatization that can deeply affect wellbeing and self-esteem.
Importantly, autistic people do not act differently because of a ‘deficit’. The autistic brain simply operates and perceives the world differently – and that’s okay.
Takeaways
For autistic individuals, learning about the Double Empathy Problem can be deeply valuable. For one, it can help reframe past experiences of feeling misunderstood. Next, it’s a reminder that autistic brains process and express the world differently.
Finally, it can empower autistic people to actively seek out neurodiversity-affirming people, therapists, or communities who recognize and respect autistic ways of being.
Ultimately, everyone deserves to feel understood, and learning the Double Empathy Problem can be the bridge that connects autistic people with non-autistic people. And perhaps the way we start building this bridge is by approaching one another with curiosity and compassion.
Next Steps
If this article resonates with you but you still feel overwhelmed in navigating this self-compassion journey on your own, reach out. Glen offers free video consultations to make sure you’re a good fit prior to jumping into therapy. He is also a part of our Affordable Therapy Program, offering low-cost support to people who need it. Getting support and guidance to shift these ingrained patterns can make the process much more bearable. Book your consultation below:
References
Horizon Therapy. “Rethinking Empathy in Autism: Understanding True Connection | Horizon Therapy.” Horizon Therapy, 3 Nov. 2025, horizontherapy.ca/autistic-communication-empathy-connection/. Accessed 15 Nov. 2025.
Milton, D. E. M. (2012). On the ontological status of autism: The ‘double empathy problem’. Disability & Society, 27(6), 883-887.
Milton, Damian, et al. “The “Double Empathy Problem”: Ten Years On.” Autism, vol. 26, no. 8, 20 Oct. 2022, pp. 1901–1903, https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613221129123.
