- Mehrnoosh (Mer) Tahsil
- Jun 13
- 4 min read
Why Can’t I Expand My Window of Tolerance?
How to Use Mindfulness to Expand Your Window of Tolerance
Written By: Mer Tahsil
About the Author
Mehrnoosh (Mer) Tahsil, Master's of Arts in Counselling Psychology (Candidate), Student Clinician, Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying)
The world is busy. It’s chaotic. It’s unpredictable.
Even when we understand our window of tolerance (check out my blog post last month that explains this further in case you missed it!), it can still be hard to truly increase your capacity and decrease distress when you’re juggling so much every day.
One of the ways to expand your window of tolerance is to practice mindfulness.
When people hear the word mindfulness, they often imagine meditation - waking up early, sitting in silence, and practicing for 30 minutes twice a day, every day.
But when you’re already exhausted and your window of tolerance feels small, even thinking about adding another task to your day can feel overwhelming.
Sometimes we become so drained that even regular activities, such as brushing our teeth or replying to a message, can feel bigger than what we can handle. During those times, mindfulness is not meant to be another item on your to-do list. Instead, I invite you to think of it as a small pause, a moment to catch your breath.
Mindfulness is not about doing something perfectly. It is about creating small opportunities throughout the day to reconnect with yourself. These moments may seem simple, but over time they can help regulate your nervous system and gradually expand your window of tolerance.
Let’s learn more about what mindfulness actually is and how it can help.
What Is Mindfulness and Why Is It Helpful?
Mindfulness is the practice of intentionally bringing your awareness to the present moment.
Our minds naturally travel through different timelines. Even when we are sitting still on the couch, our thoughts can be replaying a conversation from years ago or imagining a future event that has not happened yet.
Interestingly, anxiety often shows up when our minds spend too much time in the future - worrying about what might happen, what could go wrong, or whether we will be able to cope. On the other hand, feelings of sadness, guilt, shame, or regret can sometimes become stronger when we are stuck in the past.
The present moment is different. Right now, in this exact moment, we are not living in yesterday’s mistakes or tomorrow’s worries. The present offers us a fresh opportunity to simply be with what is happening.
Mindfulness helps us gently guide our attention back to the here and now.
Using Your Breath as an Anchor
One of the easiest ways to practice mindfulness is through your breath.
Breathing is something your body is already doing for you. It can serve as a built-in reminder to slow down and reconnect with the present moment.
The next time you notice yourself ruminating about something that happened yesterday or worrying about an interview next week, pause for a moment. Whether you are sitting on the couch, lying in bed, or walking outside, bring your attention to your breathing.
Notice the sensation of the air moving in and out. You do not need to change your breath or force it to be deeper. Simply observe it.
Even spending a few moments paying attention to your breath can help create a sense of grounding and calm. The goal is not to stop your thoughts but to gently redirect your attention whenever your mind wanders.
These small moments may not seem significant at first, but they add up. Over time, they can help your nervous system feel safer, more regulated, and more capable of handling life’s challenges.
What If You Just Can’t Seem to Feel Better?
If you’ve been trying different ways of taking care of yourself, including mindfulness, and it doesn’t seem to feel any better, therapy might be a good next step. Psychotherapy can be really impactful in shifting out of old patterns and building healthier new ones, including mindfulness, to truly start to take care of your mental health. If this post resonated with you, reach out to me. You can book an appointment with me using the button below. I look forward to hearing from you soon!
Are you craving an in-person space to process the conflict in Iran?
Join us for our upcoming workshop: How to Feel Without Falling Apart
A 2-Hour Group Workshop for Farsi-Speaking Adults in the GTA Impacted by the Conflict in Iran
Is what’s happening in Iran affecting you in all aspects of your life, making it hard to find balance? Are you unsure whether you should feel your emotions or push them away? Have you been experiencing intense emotions without knowing what to do with them?
This one-time information session is for you. It is designed to provide practical tools to help you cope and create more space to breathe through your daily activities, work, school, and home life. This is a safe and private space where we can hold each other’s hands through this difficult moment. You do not have to go through it alone.
Format: In-person
Location: World on Yonge, 7191 Yonge Street, Thornhill, ON, L4J 1V8
Date: Saturday, June 20th, 2026, 10am - 12pm (Two Hours)
Cost: $30/person
Facilitator: Mehrnoosh (Mer) Tahsil, Student Therapist
More About Mer
Mer is a Student Therapist pursuing her Masters of Arts in Counselling Psychology (MACP) and completing her final practicum at Therapy Uninterrupted. She is a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) with the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario (CRPO).
Her approach to therapy is grounded in collaboration and respect for your individual experience. Rather than following a fixed model, your work is shaped by your goals, needs, and pace. Mer strives to provide a supportive, non-judgmental environment, with regular check-ins to ensure therapy remains intentional, flexible, and aligned with what matters most to you.
Mer works with adults and adolescents navigating concerns such as anxiety, depression, emotional regulation, self-esteem, identity exploration, relationships, life and career transitions, and separation or breakups. I also support individuals experiencing ADHD-related challenges or neurodivergence and with couples.
Outside of the clinic, she enjoys art, music, and being creative in her expression of herself and her emotions.
