- Mehrnoosh (Mer) Tahsil
- May 12
- 4 min read
Why Do I Feel Emotionally Overwhelmed or Completely Numb?
Understanding Your Window of Tolerance and Emotional Regulation
Written By: Mer Tahsil
About the Author
Mehrnoosh (Mer) Tahsil, Master's of Arts in Counselling Psychology (Candidate), Student Clinician
Do you feel like your glass is already almost full even when you just woke up? Do simple tasks feel like a lot to manage? Do you find yourself either reacting too much or too little to the things around you? Have you been feeling like things are out of control and you’re just trying to keep your head above water? If so, you might be living outside of your Window of Tolerance.
Sometimes our body learns to survive before it learns to feel safe. What looks like laziness or overreacting from the outside can sometimes be emotional exhaustion and a nervous system that has been carrying too much for too long. Let’s learn more about it.
Why Can Simple Things Feel So Heavy?
The feeling of not having enough capacity to deal with daily life can often be judged as being lazy or careless. At the same time, reacting strongly to things around us can come off as being dramatic or too sensitive. But the reality is that our nervous system may already be dysregulated before the day even begins because it is stuck in survival mode.
This means that our brain and body can respond as if we are under constant threat, even when there is no actual physical danger. Sometimes disconnecting from ourselves, shutting down, endlessly scrolling, or staying constantly busy can feel safer than slowing down and feeling what is happening inside of us. The Window of Tolerance concept, developed by Dan Siegel, helps us better understand why we feel the way we do.
These reactions are not signs of weakness. They are protective responses from the nervous system.
How The Window Of Tolerance Explains Overwhelm, Shutdown, And Emotional Regulation?
The Window of Tolerance is an optimal zone of arousal where we can manage the demands of everyday life. Each of us has a different window of tolerance, and in order to stay clear-headed, resilient, and regulated, we need to function within that window (Lewis Psychology, 2021).
In the graph below, you can see two other states that are considered survival states: hypoarousal and hyperarousal. Hyperarousal can look like anxiety, panic, racing thoughts, irritability, or feeling emotionally overwhelmed. Hypoarousal can look like numbness, exhaustion, shutdown, dissociation, or feeling disconnected from ourselves and others.
When we are in either of these states, the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for decision-making, emotional regulation, and reflection, does not function as effectively.
What does the Window of Tolerance mean for me?
The good news is that our window of tolerance is not fixed. With support, awareness, and regulation skills, it can slowly expand over time. It doesn’t mean you’re broken, it just means that your body is trying to protect you and you need to re-learn how to change that automatic response.
[Stay tuned for my next post about practices that can help expand your window of tolerance!]
The first steps are the hardest!
Does this still feel challenging and scary? My name is Mer, and I’m a student therapist. I’m here to support individuals who feel emotionally overwhelmed, disconnected, or stuck in survival mode. If this resonates with you, feel free to book a free consultation with me using the button below so we can talk about it together.
Are you craving an in-person space to process the conflict in Iran?
Join us for our upcoming workshop: How to Feel Without Falling Apart
A 2-Hour Group Workshop for Farsi-Speaking Adults in the GTA Impacted by the Conflict in Iran
Is what’s happening in Iran affecting you in all aspects of your life, making it hard to find balance? Are you unsure whether you should feel your emotions or push them away? Have you been experiencing intense emotions without knowing what to do with them?
This one-time information session is for you. It is designed to provide practical tools to help you cope and create more space to breathe through your daily activities, work, school, and home life. This is a safe and private space where we can hold each other’s hands through this difficult moment. You do not have to go through it alone.
Format: In-person
Location: World on Yonge, 7191 Yonge Street, Thornhill, ON, L4J 1V8
Date: Saturday, June 20th, 2026, 10am - 12pm (Two Hours)
Cost: $30/person
Facilitator: Mehrnoosh (Mer) Tahsil, Student Therapist
More About Mer
Mer is a Student Therapist pursuing her Masters of Arts in Counselling Psychology (MACP) and completing her final practicum at Therapy Uninterrupted.
Her approach to therapy is grounded in collaboration and respect for your individual experience. Rather than following a fixed model, your work is shaped by your goals, needs, and pace. Mer strives to provide a supportive, non-judgmental environment, with regular check-ins to ensure therapy remains intentional, flexible, and aligned with what matters most to you.
Mer works with adults and adolescents navigating concerns such as anxiety, depression, emotional regulation, self-esteem, identity exploration, relationships, life and career transitions, and separation or breakups. I also support individuals experiencing ADHD-related challenges or neurodivergence and with couples.
Outside of the clinic, she enjoys art, music, and being creative in her expression of herself and her emotions.
References
KOI Education. (2024, September 23). 20 practices to increase our window of tolerance. https://www.koi-education.com/insights/20-practices-to-increase-our-window-of-tolerance
Lewis Psychology. (2021, December 22). Window of tolerance explained [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/TNVlppGz0zM?si=7pKMlIj1IMMxch2s
