- Glen Zheng
- 3 days ago
- 4 min read
I’m Scared to Seek Therapy. What Should I Know Before I Begin?
Navigating Therapy for the First Time: Managing Anxiety and Knowing What to Expect
Written By: Glen Zheng
About the Author
Glen Zheng, Master's of Social Work (Candidate), Student Clinician
For many of us, looking for a therapist can be incredibly daunting. And even if we’re ready to start looking, we may not know where to begin.
In this article, I help explain common fears that prevent people from seeking therapy and provide a roadmap to help you find the best therapist for you.
Putting the Fear into Words
The first reason that therapy can feel so scary is that therapy can bring forth complex emotions and heavy memories from the past. This is a very common – and reasonable – fear to hold. The reality is that we may not be fully ready to process wounds from the past.
During your initial consultation, communicate to your therapist the pace you’re comfortable working with. In other words, if you ever feel like you’re diving too quickly into past wounds, you’re always able to slow things down.
Therapy can also be intimidating due to the cultural narrative around it. Throughout our lives, we’ve been exposed (in varying degrees) to what therapy looks like, who it’s for, and why it’s being done. For example, news headlines or movies we grew up with may have subconsciously made us believe that therapy is something for “weak or crazy” people. Moreover, once we add in factors like masculinity, patriarchy, individualism, self-reliance, and culture, it’s no wonder that many of us struggle to ask for help.
Often, asking for help is the scariest part of the entire journey, as many of us need to work through shame. (E.g., “What if therapy confirms that something is wrong with me?”) Rest assured that this is a totally normal experience to have, and that seeing a therapist doesn’t mean that you’re broken or weak! In fact, having the strength to commit to your own mental wellbeing (despite these barriers) shows that you’re a strong person, capable of proactive change.
Another factor (frequently not brought up) is the history of harm within the profession. Given that the science behind psychotherapy has been constantly evolving over the past decades, some therapists throughout history have used unethical means to ‘help’ people. For instance, conversion therapy was once thought of as an ethical way to “fix” people’s sexual orientation.
This is a big stain on the profession, which is why many therapists choose to sweep this topic under the rug. However, modern therapists should be comfortable discussing the historical harms in the profession to ensure they do not repeat them.
During your initial consultation, don’t be afraid to talk to your therapist about any fears you hold about therapy. This is also a good time to ask how they intend on upholding your safety throughout the therapy experience.
What to Look for When Choosing a Therapist
Match/Suitability
The evidence shows that the most important factor in successful therapy is how you feel when meeting your therapist. In other words, when looking for a therapist, prioritize connection over specific therapy modalities (like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy).
Culture, Gender, Age, and Other Factors
Some clients say they like working with therapists who hold a similar background to them. Alternatively, some clients intentionally look for a therapist from a different background to hear different perspectives.
Credentials
Ask your therapist about their education, their experience, and whether they have proper accreditation.
Questions to Ask A Therapist In The First Meeting
What is your experience working with clients who deal with [your main challenge]?
What is your approach to therapy?
Structured vs. open ended
Direct vs. gentle
Exploration vs. homework and other practical tools
What are sessions usually like?
Final Steps: Book a Free Consultation
Looking for a therapist can be scary, intimidating, and daunting – and that totally makes sense! By knowing the key things to look for in a therapist, you can feel assured that the therapy space will be safe, non-judgmental, and right for you. Most therapists offer a free consultation with no obligation to make sure you're a good fit prior to committing to any form of payment.
If you want to work with me, I offer a free video consultation to make sure we're a good fit prior to jumping into therapy. I am also a part of our Affordable Therapy Program, offering low-cost support to people who need it. Getting support and guidance to shift these ingrained patterns can make the process much more bearable. Book your free consultation with me below by selecting my calendar from our team members:
More About Glen
Hi, I’m Glen Zheng – an MSW Intern at Therapy Uninterrupted. I hold a Bachelor of Arts in Philosophy from Simon Fraser University and am pursuing my Master of Social Work at the University of Toronto.
Helping people navigate complex challenges related to cultural identity, immigration, ADHD, autism, attachment, life transitions, and trauma, I apply an approach that is compassionate, client-centered, and at your pace. My goal as a therapist is to help you live life your way.
Outside of the clinic, I enjoy exploring the backcountry, listening to music, and playing board games.
